Concept Garage

Announcer: Good afternoon, Diogenes. In keeping with your

reputation as a non-conformist, I see that you keep your bathtub

outside of your house?

Diogenes: The bathtub is my house.

Announcer: I see. Well there must be some advantage to that?

Diogenes: Certainly. No window can give a view like this, and if

the neighborhood goes bad, I can just walk off with the house.

Announcer: How did you earn your living?

Diogenes: I got a moonlighting job – begging. I went to every

statue in town and asked for money.

Announcer: Why statues?

Diogenes: It got me used to being refused. After a time, I tried my

Technique on people. I told each customer that if he had given to

Other beggars, then he should give to me as well. If not, he should

start with me.

Announcer: How did it go?

Diogenes: I lost 30 pounds and gained a philosophy.

Announcer: Why is it that people will give alms to the blind and

crippled, but not a philosopher?

Diogenes: People know that one day they could be blind or crippled,

but they never dream they will take up a philosophy.

Announcer: Diogenes, what is a wise man?

Diogenes: There is but a finger’s difference between a wise man and

a fool. If a man raises his first finger and speaks, people think

him wise. If he lifts his middle finger, they think him mad.

Announcer: Do you believe in the institution of marriage?

Diogenes: I believe in no institutions. Marriage does not exist -

there are only men who persuade and women who consent.

Announcer: What instructions will you leave for your funeral arrangements?

Diogenes: I want to be buried face-down. The world will soon be

turned topsy-turvy and I don’t want to present my backside to the

gods.

Announcer: Who will take care of the arrangements?

Diogenes: Whoever wants the house

Announcer: Well I see by the old sundial that it’s time to go. Any

last words of advice that you can leave us with?

Diogenes: Yes, ignore everything I say!

An excerpt from Diogenes interview!

Happy new Alexanderian era!